Get all 49 Mentos Leonard releases available on Bandcamp and save 70%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Animals Vol. IV, Tour de Mentos, This Is Getting Out of Hand: Greatest Hits 2023, An Afternoon at Calamity Grotto, Inedible Quality Chicken, Live at The Weird Uncle, Emo Stoner Land, High Quality Chicken, and 41 more.
1. |
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Eating moon cheese with my back to the oven
The radio grunge is blasting
The heat relaxes my tired muscles
Which would otherwise not be lasting
I feel the hard floor in epileptic shivers
The brutalist kings prevail
And the hardest part of proving I'm the Antichrist
Is drinking from that holy grail
When's it gonna end
I can't keep my life clean
When's it gonna end
Call me a depressed washing machine
When's it gonna end
Even I don't know what I mean
Dirty clothes and a few coins
Guess I'm a depressed washing machine
A coyote runs right in front of me
And he doesn't even look my way
Maybe I'm too dirty for coyote man
Everything's going gray
Going gray
Going gray
Going gray
Blend to gray
Going gray
Bleeding gray
Dying gray
Crying on the ground
No one knows just what the hell I mean
But I never make a sound
Call me a depressed washing machine
Feed me coins and I'll do my job
Spinning around until I'm clean
I clean your clothes with every sob
Guess I'm a depressed washing machine
When's it gonna end
Gonna clean and clean and clean
Feed my coins I'll do your job
I'm a depressed washing machine
Come on baby let me feel your coins
Give me coins
Oh, everything inside is so dirty
I'd better be a depressed washing machine
Oh give me coins
Give me coins
Give me coins
Give me cash
Spare some change
Spare some change
Will you spare some change
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2. |
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And I will remember those Chomsky nights
When we'd sit on the sofa and listen to Noam
And the words he'd say would give us respite
From the place that we as kids called our home
Chomsky nights, every day
Those Chomsky nights, anyway
Who can do the best Noam Chomsky impression?
So pure
Chomsky impression
Once I loved you, honey
But those were the Chomsky days
Once on the sofa I loved you, honey
But those were the Chomsky days
Chomsky days
Chomsky day
Chomsky day
Chomsky day
Chomsky day
Chomsky day
Where have we gone?
The environment's gonna fall apart and die
Where will we go?
Surely not to Mars
You and I
Not to Mars, baby honey
You and I, not to Mars
And we won't go to Mars
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3. |
Mourning Doves
02:06
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This next one's called Mourning Doves
Mourning doves are sitting on my roof
They don't see me this morning
Mourning doves are mourning Maureen
She was after all only mortal
Morphine drips for morbid mourning doves
Moronically boosting morale
Mourning doves are mooring in Morocco
Morse code to the mortician in the Moor
More mourning mourning doves morph into moray eels
Maureen and Morgan mourn Maureen, too
Thank you
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4. |
Sticks and Stones
03:55
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Sticks and stones
Will break my bones
But words will never
Short me, short me
Sticks and stones
You can find about anywhere
Gather them up
Build a lair
You and me
We're gonna rule the world
By building an army
Of all the boys and girls
Who like the sticks and stones
The sticks and the stones
The sticks and the stones
Come on and get me some sticks and stones
Got the sticks and stones
Yeah, they're in my bones
I got the sticks and stones
And they're deep within my bones
Gonna build a, gonna build a fort
Bigger than Fort Knox
Gonna put all my gold in the basement
And I hope that nobody knocks
On the door, or I'll beat you
With a stick and then a stone
You will get stoned
And you'll get sticked!
I will stick you!
I will stick you!
Talking about the sticks and the stones baby
I'm talking about 'em
I'm talking about the sticks and the stones
And if you don't understand what I mean
I'm gonna play it for you using the twelve-tone method
By Igor, uh, Schoenberg
Got the sticks and the stones
Embedded deep within my bones
In my bones
Wanna bone?
Let's bone
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5. |
No Man's Land
03:05
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If you're going home
I guess you're on your own
And if you're gonna break
Well babe, it's your mistake
Tell me only what you need
I've got my own mouth to feed
Oh, come on, baby, let me hear it
Oh, do you really think I fear it?
You better get out as fast as you can
Because we're living in no man's land
Life with you is not oh-so-grand
No, I'm afraid we're in no man's land
Ooh, my heart is broken
Ooh, you've never spoken
Ooh, heart is broken, baby
Pass the glue
My heart is broken
But you've never spoken
Yeah, my heart is broken, baby
Pass the glue
If you're going home
Be sure to grab me the glue
We can sniff and sniff
I'll sniff it up with you
It's very dangerous
And I would not recommend
But I'm really, really sad
And I've got my heart to mend, three four five
So stick your head deep in the sand
Because we're living in no man's land
But if you took your head out of the sand
Just look around, you're in no man's land
Oh, oh
Yeah, yeah
Oh, no man's land
Sniff glue
Glue
Grab the glue
When you get home
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6. |
The Brutalist Veneer
05:07
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Stepping out over the docks (hah)
It's amazing how many people there are (hooah)
Stepping out over the goose shit on the docks (hah)
There's no one but the air
And the water
And the fire
Oooagh!
I step out into the flames
It's amazing how many people are burning
I see the goose shit everywhere
Everywhere
I consider climbing up the sturdy oak tree
But I know it will not get me far
Oh, it will not get me far
Hooagh!
Ayyagh!
Knocking over trash cans, running down the pedestrians
I'm in my car
The smell of goose shit pervades the air
Lying in my bed now, I'm still out in the fields
They're burning with the smell of stench of wheat
It's coming
The trees
It's coming
The goose shit
The smell is awful
I cannot bear it
I grab a banana and peel it
Far from the deserts of where I'm from
Far from the deserts of humanity
Far from the electronics and the electric fluorescent lights
Far from everything I've known
The fields are deep
The fields are wide
Wider than the oceans
The smell of goose shit is still in the air
The trees are tall
The trees are tall
You better go
The trees are tall
They're growing worse
You're growing worse
There's goose shit
We are all here
We are all here
We are all here
There's no one else
We are all here
Under the rising tree
Knocking over garbage pails
Over the rising sun
Knocking over garbage pails
Filled with goose shit
There's, there's goose shit
I'm tripping over goose shit
There's goose shit everywhere
Oh, it's the goose shit!
I can't see, there's goose shit in my eye!
In my eye!
Oh!
Goose shit!
(What is this at the end?)
It's everywhere!
I'm, I can't step anywhere without getting goose shit on my shoes!
Aghhh
Owww
Aghghghgh
Oh!
(I was not prepared to just cold play this)
The sea expands
With goose shit!
(I finally understand Coldplay, the band name)
(Shit)
(I can't remember if some of them are like major or minor though)
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7. |
McDonald's on the Moon
04:11
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We've been to the moon a few times, and when we go back
I really do not need to eat a Big Mac
But when I look at the stars I see Ronald's face
Oh, why the hell did we open a McDonald's in space?
(I've always said I'm unsubscribing from life
The second they open a McDonald's on the moon)
Oh no, they put McDonald's on the moon
And oh no, yeah, we better stop em soon
And oh yeah, I'm feeling like a loon
Tell me why there's a McDonald's on the moon
Don't need a McDonald's on the moon
Don't need a McDonald's on the moon, hey, hey
Don't need a McDonald's on the moon
We've got only a few short years left
Before extinction chokes us to death
And we've spent five years shipping yellow arches to the moon
I think that was pretty dumb
I'm telling you McDonald's on the moon is bad
It's just another stupid, passing fad
Oh, what would Neil Armstrong think
If he ate those nuggets that were pink?
Even though it's bad, there's just one thing
At least it isn't a Burger King
Oh, they put McDonald's on the moon, babe
Oh yeah, and we gotta stop it soon, babe
McDonald's on the moon
I think we're gonna have to stop it soon
Oh yeah
And I am just another goon, babe
Pass me a spoon, babe
I'm such a loon, babe
I don't wanna go to McDonald's on the moon
I don't wanna go to McDonald's on the moon
I don't wanna go to McDonald's on the moon
I don't wanna go to McDonald's on the moon
I don't wanna go to McDonald's on the moon
I don't wanna go to McDonald's on the moon
I don't wanna go to McDo—
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8. |
Pale Blue Dot
04:41
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From this distant vantage point, the Earth might not seem of any particular interest. But for us, it's different. Consider again that dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "superstar," every "supreme leader," every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there – on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.
The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds.
Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the Universe, are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves.
The Earth is the only world known so far to harbor life. There is nowhere else, at least in the near future, to which our species could migrate. Visit, yes. Settle, not yet. Like it or not, for the moment the Earth is where we make our stand.
It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character-building experience. There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we've ever known.
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9. |
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Looking at the stars
I see more of them in me than I see you
You told me that you loved me, baby
But did you even say goodbye?
You told me that you wanted me, baby
And then you sat and watched me die
Looking at the stars
We were gold and astral, flying like a kite
Looking at the stars
I had something to tell you, but I didn't do it that night
Yeah, maybe I'm the fuckup, baby
Is that what you wanted me to say?
Yeah, maybe it's all me, baby
But last I heard you wanted me to stay
Yeah you got me till tomorrow, baby
And then I'm going away
You can have me till tomorrow, baby
And then we'll call it a day
Looking at the stars
I see no reason not to set myself aflame
But that would do no good
'Cos you're so close to me, you would only do the same
I guess I'm going now
Better get used to me gone, 'cos I'm going to outer space
You got me till tomorrow, baby
And then I'm going away
Oh, you can have me till tomorrow, baby
And then I'm dying in space
You told me that you loved me, baby
But did you even say goodbye?
You said that you wanted me, baby
And now I'm gonna fucking die
Looking at the stars
Has inspired me to burn an endless flame
You can have me till tomorrow, baby
And then I'm burning away
And you can keep me till tomorrow, baby
And then I'm melting your day
Said you can love me till tomorrow, baby
And then I'm fucking going to space
Keep me till tomorrow in your heart, babe
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Mentos Leonard Boston, Massachusetts
In August 2021, following years of fans begging them to collaborate, a supergroup of some of the world’s most elite
musicians was formed. Arnold Schoenburger,
Calamity Morphine, Ongonkulous Reptile, and Joe Mamma have joined together to create Mentos Leonard.
Gangrenously,
The M.L. Team
... more
